I was at a close friends house several days ago. She is a strong and independent woman and I value our friendship. She doesn't mince words and tends to gravitate towards the brutally honest and direct approach of which I genuinely appreciate.
She was playing with this hourglass she had on her kitchen counter. She'd always made claims of a certain level of clairvoyance or psychic abilities if you will and myself, ever the skeptic, brushed them off with feigned interest. First, the hourglass was a new item and secondly she'd been acting....well....rather strange of late. She made some comment about blood and the hourglass she was then holding. This struck me as quite odd. So I asked her what she said, to which she replied "Something about blood and an hourglass. I don't remember". She seemed almost in a daze. I asked her again and she replied the same. I then asked where she'd heard that (thinking maybe she was referring to the novel by Victor Dove named Blood In The Hourglass - I tend to look up potential names for my writing to see if it's already been used) and she couldn't recall where she'd heard it. To which I then said "It's crazy. I wrote a piece called 'Blood in the Hourglass' a few months ago" and naturally she was skeptical. In fact, I'd offered for her to read it and she politely declined. It's not often I subscribe to, let alone be shaken in the slightest by situations like these, however this one got to me.
Now, she's made connections before that seemed random or inconsequential - a majority of them she was accurate on. This time though. This one threw me for a loop. Nobody had read this article, knew the name of it or anything. It was one of the many that would have disappeared into the ether had it not been for this particular instance.
Oh, I wrote this one 02/26/21 (or so the timestamp of the backup on my PC tells me) and there is no possible way for anyone to have read it or know where it was stored unless I specifically chose to share it.
Blood in the Hourglass
Pain and anger sink their teeth deep within my flesh, ripping tendon, bruising skin and decorating my body with rivulets of blood. As if a million tiny rubies were scattered across me like sequins. Funny how some of us become entranced, while others, become faint and disgusted. All with the very thing that sustains us and can be given to others for life.
Oh well, my words will slip through your mind like sand in an hourglass - we're left with the impression of loss but in reality we control time because we designed it - so we've nobody to blame but ourselves. We have fabricated this nonsensical construct and now revolve our very lives around it. We panic when it's up, relish it when it seems unending and then curse it when we misuse it.
Blood, pain, anger, time, violence, happiness and love. Each one of these are embraced and revered by some and hated and jeered by others. Happiness, love and time are the worst for me. I want all three. I desperately crave each one like a soldier longs for times of peace. However, I've flipped the hourglass one to many times and soon that bill is due.
I've spent the better part of the last 4 years fighting to show and demonstrate to all around me that those three, if obtained appropriately, are far greater than any high or amount of money or material things could ever give you.
I maintain my distance, help to guide them to what they seek, even if they don't know it. Their time is still strong. They've happiness to still give and receive. Most of all love to share. If distance and claims of my personal toxicity are the price required then so be it.
The hourglass is running out. Each grain of blood a thought or feeling slipping away with each moment. The question is this - what will you do with those moments? Will you savor each drop or greedily devour them without shame?
Comments