Read that title again. Maybe even a third time. Out loud? To yourself? Good. Let it sink in while I entertain you with a dichotomy of wisdom chosen to both infuriate you and force a level of cognition you tried to suppress. Until now.
I'm selfish. So are you. So are the people we love. How many people do you know admit this feely? Embrace it? Say it aloud with no shame? Almost none. Maybe some in jest, however, none speak it in truth. Not to others or themselves. It's to....selfish.
The reason I say this is simple. If I can't put myself above all others, or be comfortable in my own skin, or even aware of who I am and can be. How can I justifiably say I care for others and tend to their emotional and mental needs? How can I say I'm truly aware of their needs, wants and desires when I'm hardly aware of or support my own?
Now, I'm not saying place yourself first and be an arrogant prick, who thinks themselves above others like some deity or gift from insert-God-of-your-choice-here. What I'm saying is simple. Take care of yourself, nurture yourself and place your own happiness before others as long as it doesn't harm anyone. There is nothing wrong with being happy and proud of it - there is something wrong with being haughty and prideful and making others see you as such – and there is ABSOLUTELY something wrong with not loving yourself (inB4 'depression' etc etc. That is another article for another time. So. Focus.)
The bottom line is this. Can you tell me, right now, that you love yourself? That you're happy? If you can't, can you tell me why? Or what you can do to change it? Do you have the strength to even do so? Do you have the mental and/or emotional acuity to recognize and act on it?
Now. For the lazy part. I don't recall who said it, but, it was something like this "aim low, so low you're never disappointed". Sounds terrible? Right? Who could even think that way? Let alone embrace it and vocalize it. Who could possibly be satisfied with something like this?
I'll tell you why. Because when you expect results that you yourself can produce and get upset when others don't do so. You're more than selfish. More than lazy. You're now trying to get others to perform to your expectations when you may not even know if they have the ability to do so. I don't care if you think you believe they have that ability. It's wrong to assume so.
Unfortunately, here comes the cold hard truth, something that will more than likely trigger or offend someone and if I do then you're welcome. Reality is this. Stop expecting people to live up to what you think they are. Stop placing and projecting these grandoise ideas of their humanity. Aim low. Remember? Why is that? Because by NOT expecting the best from someone you inadvertently convince them that they ARE and CAN do better. All without offending them or embarrassing them. I literally tell almost everyone I know that the "aim low" quote is my life motto. So everyone I know realizes I don't expect or demand or require....well....anything from them. Now this isn't to be confrontational or derogatory, quite the opposite actually and if you know me and think about what I've said it'll make sense.
Furthermore, I tend to take the easy way, as long as the job gets done. If I can avoid strenuous physical labor or the mental gymnastics of some then I'm going for it. I'm to damn old to play these games of "look I'm stronger" or "I know the answer better". If I can get a simple task done in 2 steps, when it takes you 5, I will. Because I'm lazy. Simply put, I'm not going to do extra work when it isn't required or additional analysis without reason.
This is why I say I'm lazy. It's far easier for me to get done what I need to without relying on anyone. If someone chooses to assist me, well, then great. If not, that's great too, because I'm not disappointed and neither are they. Nowhere in either scenario am I placing expectations or assumptions on those around me.
Now some of you may argue "that's horrible of you! Are you so pretentious you think no one can help you?!" My counter is this. Are YOU so pretentious to think that everyone WANTS to help you? Or had you never considered the simple fact that there are some things, no matter how badly you need them done and need help, that some people straight up refuse to do. Believe it or not. There will be times when you desperately need help and nobody will be there. All the while you've expected help, maybe even demanded it, only to be tragically let down by your own delusions of "we all want to help each other".
That my dear is the true definition of selfishly lazy. Or was it lazily selfish? I seem to have slipped a little having been caught up in the semantics of this talk.
Moving forward.
It's ok to be selfish, love yourself and place yourself first. Just don't be a dick.
It's ok to be lazy. So long as it doesn't affect the duties you're to preform, affect those around you or have negative ramifications. Just don't be stupid.
My physical and mental faculties are not without limit and I choose to forge this path whether anyone likes it or not. Hopefully some of you choose the same - to be happy, largely free and open to a new range of thinking that may be a little scary of wierd.
Because in the long run, we're all selfish and lazy, only some of us choose to accept it.
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