I struggle with the concept of peace. The issues of this plausible yet impossible notion. Weighing and decaying the very structure of our moral fabric. Forcing us into subjugating ourselves into servitude of one another with no beneficial gain other than the farcical dream of making others happy.
We fight for it. We long for it. We kill for it.
I've never struggled with the concept of violence. It's pure. Unadulterated emotion and feelings manifested as a physical/mental/emotional response. Granted, we shouldn't succumb to such perverse thoughts and actions, however nor should we deny ourselves the reality that at times it's what we crave. More than love or peace or happiness. You, the reader, can not justifiably tell me you've felt otherwise. It one of our base primal instincts. Yet we keep a tight reign on it, forcing our natural desires below a wave of what's societally approved. Because. God forbid. We lash out and feel anything other than peace, love and happiness.
When it comes to peace, love or happiness we hesitate. We question. Without hesitation or question. This feeling of 'peace' pervades us in a way we're unfamiliar with, confusing and distorting our reality and making us question the very fiber of what holds us together. Is this real? Is this what I feel? Is this what I want? What I know? Or should know? Where do I go now? These questions bombard us relentlessly with a form of, yes violence - you guessed it - that we're unaccustomed to dealing with.
Yet with violence it's pure. There's no thought. You dance to the tune of raw emotion without inhibitors. Even if you don't seek it or believe what I say now. You've felt it. Lived it. Been ashamed of it. Been ashamed of others in your life for it. And yet. Still held a sick sense of fascination driving you towards it. Unaware that your entire life has led you to believe that it's wrong. It isn't. I'll explain more, after I say more, and inevitably touch on a nerve or 5 in you the reader.
Our shame should lie in so easily surrendering our hearts, minds and souls. All for what? In the end if you chose to surrender to the wrong human, you'll inevitably be forced into or forcing another into a form of violence.
Now, let me explain what I mean by using the term violence. There are different types (obviously). There is physical, mental, emotional and unintentional.
Physical is where you've lost all control and your body takes over resulting in actions you can't take back or erase not are you (most of the time) ashamed of or regretful of. Whether it be full on fists flying or a simple shove. You've made the decision to demonstrate your dominance in this fashion.
Mental is where someone continually speaks down to you. Displays a level of arrogance and haughtiness you've never felt. Forcing you react and lash out mentally. Meaning you flex your intelligence and wit. You've let your mind take over and react with sharp and jabbing statements in hopes they fully comprehend their mistake and accept you as their superior.
Emotional is where you rip out there soul and fiber of every thing they love and destroy it. To the point where they question every relationship and interaction in their lives. By far the most cruel and deadly form of violence. It never fails to decimate ones psyche no matter how strong or fragile.
Unintentional is where you are literally clueless and can't control your feelings, self, mouth or actions. Typically resulting in a level of violence the other forms are unfamiliar with. Simply because it's so pure and innocent. Unaware.
Now, I'm not celebrating, nor advocating people embrace violence or violent means. Nor am I justifying any form of spousal abuse (woman on man, man on woman and so on). I'm simply provoking you, the reader, to think and dwell on what made you move to violence. Because. In the end we all have and we all will. Whether we like it or not and whether we admit it to ourselves or not.
It's a difficult concept to expose ones self on such a level to admit something so simple as this and recognize that, in a lot of cases, the person reacted to a situation beyond the scope of their mental or emotional handling. They need to realize. No. They need to KNOW that it's ok. It's ok to feel that way.
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